Host Club Incognito
by HogoshaOtaku
Summary: The Host Club go camping...wait what? Haha yup. Tents, s'mores, fishing, sleepingbags, the works! The Host Club going incognito as normalers. Slight Haruhi torture! Warning crack-ish XD!
1. The Arrival

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!!! If i did, i would shove Haruhi into a room filled with starving lions...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! *cough cough***

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Tamaki stepped out of his limo, which stood out quite a lot in the middle of the commoner campground.

"WE'RE HERE!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled, causing Kyouya to glare from the car.

"Shut up, Tamaki. Why are we here anyway? You told me we were going to a financial convention. (A/N: are those even real…?) I refuse to go camping. It's a waste of money." He sat back in his seat, his glasses flashing in that evil way only anime characters can do.

"WHAT?!?!" a furious yell could be heard from the baaaaaaack seat. This IS a limo, people. A furious Haruhi jumped out of the car. "He told me we were going to a special grocery store sale for giant tuna!!" (A/N: anyone wanna join the Haruhi-Haters? Anyone?) The twins could be seen simultaneously rolling there eyes as they stepped out of the car.

"We passed the grocery store an hour ago, dummy." said Hikaru.

"You'd do anything for giant tuna, huh?" Kaoru added. They both snickered. "Tono, going camping is stupid and only for people who can't afford to go on vacation with hotels. Lets go home." They said, while grabbing his arms and attempting to drag him back to the car. Tamaki, though, had different plans.

"No no NO! We simply MUST stay!!!! It'll be an EXPERIENCE!!!!!!" Tamaki wriggled his way out of the twins grip and started in on Tama's inner mind theater. "We'll pretend to be commoners, and buy commoner stuff, and participate in commoner activities, and live like commoners, and it will be FUN!!!!!!!!" he sprang up in the air and smiled the signature king smile. "And as king, I DEMAND that you stay!" Everyone, even Hunny and Mori, turned to glare.

"Tamaki, this is ridiculous. If you don't get back in the car immediately, we're leaving without you." Kyouya turned to face the driver.

"Kyoooouuuuu-chan!!!!!!! Please???" Tamaki begged, turning his puppy-dog face on full-throttle. Kyouya looked like he was going to break.

"Kyou-chan, maybe Tama-chan's right! It could be fun, neh Takashi?" Hunny asked with flowers flying everywhere.

"I guess…we could…for a day or two." Kyouya finally obliged. Tamaki hugged his best friend.

"Arigatou, mon ami!!" Tamaki said, flying up to the man whom they would pay to get in.

"How long will your group be staying?" he asked politely. Kyouya was about to answer when Tamaki butted in. (A/N: of course.)

"One week!!!" he said happily, then paid the money. Before Kyouya had time to realize what Tamaki had just done, our beloved king hopped into the car and told the driver to drive to the lot number 132. While the twins were brooding (and planning), Tamaki bouncing in his seat, Haruhi banging her head against the window, Hunny hugging Usa, and Mori staring out the window, Kyouya was emitting a murderous aura, and DEFINITELY going to kill Tamaki.

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They arrived at the lot to find it was right next to the lake. Tamaki propelled himself through the car door and ran to the middle of the yard.

"Look at this view!" he exclaimed excitedly. "It's just as beautiful as I am!!" The look on his face said that that was a huge accomplishment. Kyouya stepped out of the limo and walked up beside him, whacking him upside the head. "What…?!" Tamaki looked aghast at Kyouya, as if he didn't deserve that.

"You idiot," Kyouya began, annunciating every syllable, "Just for wasting MY money, that I raised for the CLUB, to stay at this ridiculous place for a WEEK," he stopped, and stared (A/N: glared, actually) at Tamaki with red, Shadow King eyes. "I will make your life a living hell for the next week." He smiled that bone-chilling, spine tickling, hair-raising innocent smile that only our Kyouya could accomplish. He then proceeded to go lay on a conveniently placed hammock on the other side of the lot, notebook in hand, leaving a frozen Tama to cower in place wile their neighboring campers stared. Then Mori spoke up.

"We should start unpacking. It's almost dark." (A/N: OHMYJASHIN 7 WORDS!!!*clap clap* ) Haruhi nodded her head. (A/N: hisssssssss!!!)

"If we don't set the tents up now, we won't be able to see the directions-" she was about to continue when the twins dramatically gasped, turning to look at her with faces of shock.

"TENTS?!?!?!" they yelled, rather loudly might I add. Tamaki felt the need to answer that question.

"Yes, my loyal subjects, tents!" he had his king face on and the vent guy(1) was chucking sparkles and roses everywhere. "Without tents, how could we ever hope to grasp the feeling of camping…? It would be a disgrace to camp with something else!! Tents are a big part of this, this…" he thought for a second, then snapped his fingers in realization. "This WRIT OF PASSAGE!!! It's the way children bond with there fathers, letting them know they're ready to face the cold hard world…" (cue fake tears.) Kyouya decided to butt in on this little speech.

"Tamaki, you're an idiot. People come here for fun. That's IT." Kyouya returned to scribbling in his notebook.

"C'mon guys. We have to start unpacking." Haruhi walked up to the trunk of the limo and began to drag an over-packed bag (A/N: secretly packed by Tamaki!!) out of the car when the twins said something.

"We have to...unpack...?" They asked, confused looks on their faces. Tamaki looked up from his portable emo-corner with a blank look.

"I've never...done that before..." Haruhi face-palmed. "But its the COMMONER WAY!!!" Tamaki jumped up and headed over to the car. "Get into the commoner SPIRIT!!!" He began to hand out bags to eveyone when an avalanche of one-too-many duffel bags fell on top of him. Tamaki uncovered himself and declared he was okay, but its not like anyone paid attention (or cared).

"You'll take care of my bags, right Takashi?" Hunny asked with cupcake icing all over is mouth. Mori nodded and walked over to Tamaki to get some bags.

Koaru and Hikaru though, had managed to dodge all the flying luggage, and were sitting around bored.

"Hey," Kaoru whispered to his brother. "Lets go annoy Tono." Hikaru grinned evilly and stood up, a similar plan being formed in each ones' mind.

As they snuck up behind Haruhi, they hung their arms over her shoulders. "Hey Haruhi," Kaoru whispered loud enough for Tamaki to hear, "you should share a tent with us." Haruhi's face then turned every shade of pink known to mankind.

"Yeah Haru-chaaaan," Hikaru added suggestively. "We'd have _so much_ _fun_." Tamaki turned to stare in horror. _Horrified _horror.

"G-get off me...!" she yelled feebly, attempting to pry them off. But the twins just grinned like the Cheshire cat and leaned closer, much to Tama's dismay. Then he spazzed.

"GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER YOU SCOUNDRELS!!!!!!!!!" he yelled, yanking Haruhi out of their grasp and into a massive bear-hug. "DON'T WORRY DADDYS GOT YOU!!!!!" then he magically procured a baseball bat out of thin air and brandished it at Hikaru and Kaoru like a sword. Haruhi's little agitation meter blew its top off when she heard the twins laughing their heads off in the background. She couldn't do much though, she was being crushed to dust by a Tamaki bear-hug.

"IF YOU EVER BOTHER/HURT/ACT SUGGESTIVE/CORRUPT/ANNOY/ECT. YOUR SISTER AGAIN, I'LL-!" but Tamaki never got to finish that threat, for a pair of evil, Shadow King eyes glared at him from over the top of a notebook. Tamaki proceeded to enter the portable emo-corner again at that point.

Once everything quieted down (A/N: if the host club can actually do that) Haruhi and Mori took care of the unpacking.

I won't write about the unpacking or tent setting, cuz i would have to make this an eighteen and up thing. I'm censoring it for your enjoyment. Believe me, I'm helping your mental sanity XD.

Haruhi wiped the sweat off her forehead as she looked at their handiwork. _Not bad,_ _if i do say so myself._

"Okay everyone, their are only three tents. We have to figure out where everyone's sleeping." Tamaki's head perked up at that. He jogged out of his emo-corner and ran to Haruhi.

"I'm your daddy so it would be perfectly fine for you to share a tent with me!! Right, right?" Everyone turned and glared.

"No, Tamaki." Kyouya stated. No one argued, of course. "I will be staying with Haruhi. Hunny and Mori will share a tent, and..." he paused, and looked over at Tamaki with an expression that was pure evil happiness. "Tamaki will be staying with the twins." Suddenly, a high-pitched, blood-curdling shriek could be heard throughout the entire camping ground.

Tamaki felt weak in the knees and thoroughly betrayed by the man he called his best friend. Tama almost made a run for it; the twins were continuously looking over at him with looks that clearly read: 'BEWARE, BWAHAHAHA!!!'

Everyone went into their tents early that night (A/N: minus tamaki. he dragged his sleepingbag outside), without bothering to eat dinner (A/N: minus Hunny. He ate the whole time!!!) and just plopping down and sleeping. This week is going to be VERY interesting.

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**(1)- the vent guy is the guy behind the scenes that nobody knows about. hes the one that chucks rose petals and sparkles onto the picture to make Tama pretty!!**

**Hey!!! its HogoshaOtaku!!! its my first fic, so i hope its good. its really late over here so my tiredness may make it not as good as i had hoped...but i don't know yet!! I have a feeling that it was a bit rushed...i apologize. oh, and for all those self-proclaimed haruhi-haters reading this, there is more torture to come!!! BWAHAHAHA!! haha forgive my randomness. I actually had to rewrite a lot of this chapter cuz my computer is a BAKA and erased like HALF OF IT!!!! jeez. haha anyway, this is my first fic so i don't expect reviews, but if you are reading this and think its good or found something i should change, pleez tell me!! and also, ideas are GREAT!!! i don't really know where i wanna go with this so if you have an idea for any of it, pleez let me know!! i'd really appriciate it!!!**

**See you in the next chapter!!!**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	2. Day 1: Swimming

**Disclaimer- I DO NOT OWN HOST CLUB!!! If I did I would bound and gag Haruhi and take her place** **in the club…heh heh heh…**

**TOYA and KYOYA- Thank you so much for the advice!! Its true…yea. And its not necessarily the fact that I hate her, its just that shes in the GREATEST place EVER with THE HOST CLUB and she just sits there, wishing she was somewhere else…HARUHI YOUR NOT SMART AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!**

**Bobbet- YUP YUP I AGREE!!! THANX 4 THE IDEA I AM SO GUNNA USE IT!!! So thank you too XD **

**Arashi-senpai- Plenty of Tama torture! i love tama but hey...it wouldnt be host club without the twins torturing him, neh? bwahahaha!**

**Bhel-Elryss- Thank you so much!! i was kind of worried about if i made characters OOC...thank you!!**

**Creager- i thought i fixed that...? JEEZZZZZZZZZZZZ**

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They woke up to the sound of...well...it _sounded _like a dying cat, but it was actually the upset wail of a king.

They all immediately jumped out of their tents, pjs and all, to see what had made the king scream so frickin loudly at 5 a.m. in the morning. As they saw the scene unfold before them, they couldn't hold back giggles. Even Mori was chuckling. The twins though, were rolling around on the ground laughing. (A/N: cuz they did it *coff coff*) Tamaki had been tied up in a tree as he slept, wearing nothing but...well_, nothing_.

Haruhi quickly turned around, face a giant tomato, before running into her tent.

"I'm changing, DON'T COME IN!!!" she yelled. Mori helped Tama down, and the great king ran into his tent with his face the color of Haruhi's. He didn't come out for quite a while, so the twins decided to have some more fun.

"Hey, king," Kaoru started.

"You looked _great_," the other finished. "You should've seen Haruhi. She was droolin' like she saw giant tuna or something!!!" Haruhi angrily shouted a few choice words from her tent to put down that statement. They ignored her.

"Yea, _king,_" Kaoru prodded. "If your so kingly and beautiful, why are you so worried??" An evil smirk was passed between the two.

"Don't call me king right now..." Tamaki whispered. Everyone shut up and turned to stare at the closed tent. You could hear Antoinette barking from two hours away. "I've momentarily abdicated my throne...due to humiliation..." you could almost hear the 'doom' at the end of that sentence.

Hunny skipped over, dragging Usa-chan behind him.

"C'mon, Tama-chan!! There's so much you wanted to do today, neh??" Suddenly Tamaki burst through the top of the tent and landed right infront of everyone. Wearing a swimsuit. Haruhi had just stepped out of her tent, and immediately groaned.

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yes yes YES!!!" Tamaki answered ecxitedly. "We're right next to a lake!!! We MUST!!! Commoners go all the time!!!" Kyouya turned to do that evil-smile thing.

"I'll go," he answered, still smiling.

Hunny and Mori were prepared to go, and the twins, though they were complaining, had great ideas in mind.

When they all stepped out of their tents with bathingsuits on, Tamaki grabbed Haruhi's hand and began dragging her to the waters' edge.

"Its time for Daddy/Daughter BONDING TIME!!!" He shouted, attempting to run right when Haruhi sat down, pulling him down with her.

"No." she stated, with the ferocity of Kyouya. Tamaki froze in fear (A/N: again. that tone can really do that to ya.) and everyone else walked over. Hunny had his water tube in hand.

"Takashi, Takashi, carry me!!" Hunny said happily. Mori leaned down to pick Hunny up, and walked into the water.

"Tono, shouldn't you be in the water?" Hikaru asked. Tamaki looked up from his emo-corner and nodded, dragging his feet behind him. Once he was in the water, the vent guy started working again.

"Isn't this lovely...?" he asked, sparkling. He waded in a little deeper until it completely covered his bottom half. The twins heard what he had said.

"So that kings back?" asked Hikaru.

"I think we should make him know his place, he's getting cocky." They both smirked.

"I AIN'T IN NO WAY GETTIN' COCKY!!!" Tama yelled. "I'M KING, I'M JUST NATURALLY BETTER!!!"

He looked around to rant at the twins about how kingly he was, but they were nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, he felt his trunks yanked off and the twins appeared infront of him..._with his drawers. _GASP!!! (A/N: **dun dun dun DUN!!!!!!**) Tamaki suppressed a girly squeal as the twins high-tailed it to the shore, snickering the whole way. He looked around to see who was wathching. Kyouya was facing the other way, but..._IS THAT A SMILE?!?!?! _Tamaki internally gasped. His friend was getting enjoyment out of his torture!!! Puppy dog tears came up to his eyes. Mori and Hunny weren't paying any attention; Mori was busy watching Hunny splash everywhere while holding Usa. But...Haruhi was watching. _How am i supposed to get my swimtrunks when my daughter is watching?!?!?!?!?! _He then proceeded to point behind Haruhi, screaming "ITS G.H. MAN(1)!!! LOOK LOOK LOOK!!!" Everyone turned to stare, and Tama streaked to his tent.

When he finally came out, Everyone was in the water, minus Kyouya. Kyouya was scribbling away in his notebook. (A/N: and laying on his conveniently placed hammock) When he noticed Tamaki walking over, he smiled and got up.

"Tamaki, i decided we could make some profit out of this trip." he said. "I'm making an album. This is the first page." He opened it up, and handed it to Tamaki. Tama looked, then fell to the ground twitching. Kyouya chuckled, and walked back over to the hammock. _This is going to be fun,_ he thought to himself. For on the first page of the album, was a huge, colorful picture of a naked Tamaki streaking to his tent. All Tama could think was, _how did he even get that picture??_

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When Tamaki woke up from his mini-coma, eveyone had gathered around him.

"Is he okay, Takashi?" Hunny asked, hugging Usa close.

"Mm." Mori nodded.

Tamaki blinked a few times. "How long was I out...?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"For an hour." said Haruhi, uncaring. "We're hungry, an you dragged us here. Tell the twins to stop trying to light the fire with pine-needles, gasoline and matches before the blow up the place, and get us something to EAT!!!" Tamaki shivered.

"O-okay..." He slowly got up to walk over to the firepit where the twins were. "I command you to stop at once-!!!"

**BOOM.**

..."I guess they finally lit the match."

Tama, Hika, and Kao walked over with singed hair and black faces.

"Thats what you get," Kyouya said without looking up.

The three of them walked into their tent and came out with new clothes and clean faces.

"No campfire dinner...?" Hunny asked dissapointedly.

"No," said Kyouya. "Get in the car, we're going out to eat." Tamaki was about to complain that that wasn't the 'commoner way', but the glare Kyou sent was enough to shut him up.

"Oh and Tamaki," he said, turing around, "you're paying." He smiled and sat down in the front seat.

At dinner that night, Kyouya picked the most expensive place he saw. And he picked the most expensive item on the menu. And he insisted that Haruhi go two courses, and that everyone got dessert. All in all, a **very** expensive dinner. I won't say how much, cuz I don't wanna get sued for the heart attacks of my readers X3.

When they got back, everyone immediately went to their tents. (A/N: again.) Except for a pair of Demon Doppelgangers, who were busy planning...

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**(1)- G.H. Man is what me and ParadiseMomiji invented in art class out of bordom. Hes a gay superman!! GayHair Man!! his cape is rainbow cuz he supports gay pride!! and we are not homophobes, btw. we were just bord.**

**Thanx again to Bobbet for the idea of swimming and Tamaki losing his swim trunks!!**

**Hey!! Me again!! its...kind of a lame cliffy, huh? oh well! il get better as time goes on!!! Idk how often to update but it won't be a long wait!! cuz i get bored often...oh, i didnt really do anything to annoy Haruhi...but i have a few ideas, so i will...! haha so if you have anything to tell me, whether you liked it or there's something to change, please do!! And i LOVE IDEAS!!! really!! Ideas for anything!! I'd really appriciate it!!!**

**Until the next chapter,**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	3. Day 2: Fishing

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HOST CLUB!!! If I did, I would TOTALLY make Mori give a freakishly long speech in the middle of a party…XD**

**Bhel-Elryss- Your so nice to meeee!! And yea…Kyouya's being stingy…he should give us the album for free~! Haha. And thanx for the ideas!!! I think im gunna combine two of them ^-^ and yes...burning the smores would be bad...Thanx!**

**Creager- Why do you have to be so mean to me creager…? *sob* I tried hard!!! Aren't I your dei-chan?? Dont you love me?? JEEZ FORGIVE MY GRAMMAR ERRORS GOSH!!! And im not that much of a yaoi fangirl!! i tolerate it. that is all. XD**

**FFCCRoF-Fangirl- I love the twins too! they're absolutely amazing, neh? Kinda feel bad for Tama tho..he gets it pretty bad...haha!! Thank you Fangirl-chan!!**

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That morning, the host club woke up peacefully. But everyone was glaring at eachother; the peace seemed too good to last.

"Lets...eat breakfast..." Haruhi said cautiously, walking to the conveniently placed picnic table on tip-toes.

"We'll get the food!!" the twins yelled together, bolting to the over-sized cooler. (A/N: guess what? its also conveniently placed!) They quickly grabbed the turkey and bread, then rushed over to the table. While doing so, Kaoru then tripped and fell...right on Haruhi. (A/N: totally not planned. *coff*.) Hikaru rushed over, and grabbed his brothers' chin, forcing Kaoru to look at him.

"Are you okay...?!" he asked, eyes wide.

"Y-yes..." Kaoru said, leaning into his brother, eyes closed and tears leaking.

"Don't worry me like that!" his older brother scolded, hugging him. A group of random fangirls fangirl squealed until Kyouya glared them away. This entire Brotherly Love scene was happening right over Haru's head, who was trying to get away, but unsuccessfully. (XD)

"Get off of your sister when you do such scandulous things!!" Tamaki yelled, as over-dramatic as usual.

"Just shut up and get them off me," Haruhi begged.

"I, your loving father, shall come to the rescue~!" Tamaki said, Bay-Watching his way over. But hewas beat there by Mori, who threw Haruhi over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, leaving the Twins smirking at the king in his emo-corner.

Then a loud gasp could be heard coming from the cooler. Everyone quickly turned to see who it was, and all of them deer-in-the-headlights-stared when they saw it was Kyouya. Since it was Kyouya who gasped, they were 10 times more nervous, so they rushed over to see what was wrong.

They ran over to see Kyou dropping something back into the cooler, and the lid popped off of the mysterious object. It looked like cocoa, but at closer inspection, they saw it was dirt. Wait, was that_ WORMS_?!?!

Everyone screamed at once. Yes, even Kyou and Mori.

"Oh, YES!! I forgot about that!!" Tama yelled excitedly. "We need to go FISHING!!!"

This is the part where everybody sweat drops, then gangs up on the poor hapless king that just wanted to have some commoner-ish fun.

After the mobbing, they stepped back and brushed their hands on their pants. As they began to walk away, Tama looked up with a glint in his eyes and pulled a string, which was attatched to a net, which everybody was walking on-...oh, drat.

They were all swept up into an over-sized net, which wasn't attatched to anything...(A/N: THAT AINT EVEN POSSIBLE!!!)...but whatever! Tamaki then started to drag the humungous net over to a rather small rowboat with a huge smile on his when he suddenly stopped.

"Wait right here! I forgot something!!" He sprinted back.

"Yeah, like we could do anything else," the twins muttered sarcastically. Haruhi sighed frusteratedly, and Kyouya's angermark was pulsing dangerously.

Tamaki skipped back wearing a vest, a fishing hat, and carrying 7 poles and the tub of worms.

"We're ready to go!!" he yelled, dumping the stuff in the rickety boat and continuing to drag everyone.

"Wait, we're going in that?!?!" Haruhi shouted. "It looks unstable!!" Everyone looked to see what she was talking about, and jaw-dropped when they finally took in the sight of the ancient rowboat.

"Tono!!" Kaoru gasped. "We can't go in that!!"

"Yea!" Hikaru agreed. "Why use something so dangerous when you could have bought a fricken speed boat?!"

"Noooooooooooooooope!! We COULDN'T do that!!" He scolded. "We are INCOGNITO!!! we need to LOOK like commoners, you simpletons!!" Tama poked Haruhi on th nose. "And it is _perfectly _stable, thankyouvermuch!!"

He then grabbed the top of the bag and soft-ball pitched it into the boat, causing it to sink about a foot. Then Tamaki stepped in himself, causing it to sink another 6 inches. The water was already level with the edges of the boat, and everybody had as much room as people in the front row of a rock concert. (A/N: For anybody who was in front row at Creation, you feel my pain. XD)

"Lets go!!!" he yelled like a toddler. He grabbed the oars and started to row. Succeeding in only going in circles.

"My arms hurt..." he pouted.

"Tamaki you idiot..." Kyouya said with distaste. He glared at Tama so hard that the net surounding them poofed into dust."We. Are. Not. Going. Fishing." Tamaki scuttled to the very edge of the boat, earning him a whole FOOT of space between him an Kyouya. (A/N: STUPID SMALL COMMONER BOAT!!!)

The twins poked Kyouya on the shoulder, and they huddled together for a private meeting. (A/N:...have fun with that...) When they lifted their heads back up, Kyouya, Hikaru, and Kaoru all had smiles on their faces. And not nice smiles.

"You're right Tamaki. Its an...experience. We'll go." Hunny was happy about that. He always wanted to go fishing! (wonder why...?) Mori took over the rowing, and in ten minutes they were in the middle of the lake with no shore in sight.

"Here!!" the twins exclaimed. Mori stopped the boat, and went over to get Hunny's rod situated. Then Tamaki turned and grabbed his pole and handed everyone theirs.

"'Kay...so...Haruhi?"

"What Tamaki?" she asked irritatedly.

"........What are the worms for?"

"...................................No. I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that." Haruhi picked up a worm and hooked it, then turned around and joined Hunny. Hunny's casts weren't going anywhere, but he was having fun. Haruhi casted her line and sat down to wait.

Tamaki attempted to do what Haruhi had done, but only ended in pricking his finger.

"YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!" he yelled, jumping up and down and causing the boat to fill up halfway with water.

"Sit down, Tamaki!!!" Kyouya hissed. Tama obliged, then cast his line with a mangled worm on the end.

But...the worm wasn't the only thing to fly into the water with his hook.

"MY HAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, dropping his rod in the water while feeling his head for a long-gone hat.

"Tono, it was just a hat!" the twins said reassuringly.

"But...i looked great in that hat..." Tamaki pouted. And pouted. And pouted some more. "And i dropped my rod..." He sat down and put his face in his hands, and started to cry.

Kyouya handed him one of the 4 rods that nobody was using.

"Here."

Tamaki grabbed the rod and began to re-mangle a different worm, smiling like a mad-man, and no trace of tears on his face.

He threw it out again, and it was a little more successful. Atleast he _caught_ something. A tree counts, right??

As they were figuring that catastrophy out, there was a girl on shore holding a large tank (A/N: guess who!!!) with a genetically modified fish bred to bite cross-dressers named Harhui. As the masked figure let the fish go, she cackled madly then ran away into the woods surrounding the campground.

A few minutes later, after Tamaki was happily fishing again, Haruhi's rod started yanking.

"I think...I think I caught one!!!" she yelled, not necesarilly sure what to do.

"THATS GREAT!!! REEL IT IN HARUHI, REEL IT IN!!!" While Hunny and Tama cheered and eveyone else stared, she began to reel and pull. But the fish decided to pull back. Then Haru. Then the fish. Haru. Fish. Haru. Fish.

*After an epic battle between the genetically modified fish and Haruhi...*

Haruhi got pulled in.

"W-waaaaaaaaaah!!!" she yelled, falling head-first into the water. (A/N: not a far distance!)

"HARUHI!!!" they all yelled, running to the boats' edge to look for her. Her head popped up at the back of the boat.

"I'm oka- OW!! theres somthi- OW!! biting me- OW!! HELP ME UP!! OW OW OW!!!" They rushed over and yanked her up into the boat, filling it even more with water.

"Were guna siii~iiink!!" Hunny sang happily. Kyouya nodded.

"We're leaving." he stated. Then he nodded at the twins. Tama saw the twins exchange glances, then advance at him with PURE EVIL on their faces.

"W-wait!! What-? AHHH!!" **splash. **

"And that, dearest friend, is for your stupidity." Kyouya said smiling. Then Mori started to row away.

"Hey, wait...! GUYZZZ!!!" Tama yelled, but to no avail. He started to slowly swim back, mumbling to himself.

That night, the club (A/N: minus Tama-chan X3) enjoyed a peaceful dinner of turkey sandwhiches before going to sleep. But our dear Tamaki was still swimming his way to shore.

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**Thank you to Bhel-Elryss for the idea of fishing and boating!!**

**AND THERE!! I PUT IN YOUR FREAKIN TWINCEST MOMENT CREAGER!!! yaoi obssessed freak...*sob*...haha jaykay!!**

**Howdy!! HogoshaOtaku here. This chapter was a little harder to write cuz my otosan was watching some violent movie VERY LOUDLY downstairs. But i think this is my favorite chapter so far!! haha...I was wondering...should i have Renge or Nekozawa visit? or not bother? cuz im having a hard time thinking of a way to bring either of them in...let me know! AND ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED SO FAR, THANKYOUSOMUCH!!! I love you guys!! You're my inspiration!! i might not have finished it if you guys didn't think it was worth it! ARIGATOU!!! Oh, and i dont mind pointless rambling in reviews!! T'is amusing XD.**

**See yah in the next chappie!!...im gunna pretend i didnt just say 'chappie'...Bye!**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	4. Day 3: The Day Missed

**Disclaimer- Do you really not understand it yet?? I DONT OWN HOST CLUB!!!**

**Kyoya16- Arigatou!!**

**NotAnObsessedOtaku- I'm glad you liked my uber-randomness! Thank you!**

**Shikon Entity Shinobu- That idea is great!! I'M SO USING IT!!!**

**Funkydelic Sid- ...Thanks, I guess??**

**

* * *

**

Waking up to the sound of what they did so early in the morning is never a pleasant experience.

"Kaoru, you missed!!"

"Well _sorry_, but the target isn't that big!!"

"Excuse me, but what you're aiming with isn't that big either!!"

This is the point where no one could stand it any longer. They all jumped out of their tents, to see Tamaki already out of his. His face was as pale as Nekozawa's.

"Sempai, what the heck is going on in there?!" Haruhi demanded.

"I..I..." Unable to speak, he shook his head feebly.

Everyone stood back for a second, not wanting to go in. Exchanging glances, lightbulbs appeared over everyone's heads. Minus Tama-baka's, of course.

Mori went around behind Tamaki, picked him up by the back of his shirt, and tossed him in through the top of the tent. (A/N: Haruhi gets to patch that up. Sucker. XD)

Sheilding his eyes from what he tought he landed in the middle of, he demanded what was going on.

"W-What is going on in here?! You're disrupting everyone with your un-excusable nasty-ness!!" He peeked through his slender fingers to see Kaoru and Hikaru staring at him questioningly from opposite ends of the tent.

"What..."

"...is your problem?" They said together.

"Well...I...you...!" Tamaki stuttered dumbfoundedly. "You...!! ASK THEM!!!" He pointed outside.

But before anything, they decided to send Tama flying back out through the top of the tent.

"Later, Tono!! We need to get dressed first, you perv!!"

Which did _not _help the minds of the poor helpless victims standing outside of the tent.

"WHAT?!?!?!" They all yelled, diving for cover behind/under a bunch of conveniently placed objects.

*A few suspenseful, heartwrenching, mind-boggling minutes later*

Hikaru and Kaoru stepped out of the tent, unaware of everyone's spazzy-ness.

"...Where is eveyone?" Hika asked Kao, who shrugged. Tamaki peeked out from his hiding spot first, which wasn't really a hiding spot because he was only crouched in his emo-corner position. But still.

"They're hiding from YOU, you feeble-minded infidel monstrosities!!"

Hikaru and Kaoru ignored him (A/N: As per usual.) and called out everyone else's name, looking for them. Haruhi came out next.

"What were you two doing in the tent?!" Haruhi asked, slightly blushing. Everyone else peeked their heads out of their hiding places due to INTENSE curiosity.

"Sleeping." Hikaru said, like it was obvious. "Duh."

"No, this morning!!" Tama said, suddenly dressed in a police outfit. "Tell us or be SENT TO JAIL!!!"

Kyouya looked up, annoyed.

"Shut up, Tamaki." Tamaki's uber-hyper kingly-ness instantly deflated. "What were you two doing this morning that caused me to wake up at such an un-Godly hour to the sound of ghastly conversation?" Kyouya said it calmly, but the hidden under-tone spoke "MURDER". So did his face. He obviously didn't hide his 'DIE DIE DIE' expression.

"oh. That." Kaoru smirked along with Hikaru. "What do you _think _we were doing?"

Everyone gasped simultneously. As everyone began to stutter, horrified, Hunny spoke up.

"Were you two throwing pieces of sweets at eachother? I _always _win!!" He said happily and naively. Hunny, demonstrating, threw a piece of cupcake in the air and caught it with his mouth. "See??" He said, causing uber-amounts of flowers to fly everywhere and everyone else to collapse 'cause of his innocent mind.

"...Actually, yes." Hikaru said, staring at Hunny wierdly. Kaoru held up a peice of cookie.

"We were bored, so we played Catch the Cookie." Kaoru, along with everyone else, (A/N: minus Mori!) turned to stare at Hunny like he was an alien. _MIND-READER?!?! X-RAY VISION?!?!_

Then Mori grabbed Hunny and jogged to the other end of the lot. He did _not _like the looks on their faces.

After everything had calmed down (Mostly) and they had had their breakfast, everyone sprawled on the ground, exhasted after that morning's events. Then, as so annoyingly usual, Tamaki jumped up and declared something. This time being that they were going hiking on a mile-long path through the woods.

Everyone groaned tiredly.

"Tama-chan, i dun wannaaaaaa!!" Hunny whined.

"Yea, sempai. We're tired because we didn't get enough sleep cuz of the two blockheads over there!!"

Haruhi pointed behind herself to where the twins were laying, half asleep.

"Yea Tono. Let us sleep."

"I don't want to hear _any complaining_ from you two." Kyouya threatened."I would have gotten a little more sleep if you two would have just _shut_. _up_."

Tamaki cringed, remembering all the other times his dear friend had gone Shadow King.

"And we don't want Takashi getting all talkative again from lack of sleep, neh?" Hunny added, Mori nodding in agreement.

Tamaki looked at everyone: the sleeping twins, the ranting/fuming Kyouya, the grumpy Haruhi, the deadpan (and almost talkative) Mori, to the kawaii sleepy Hunny. He decided if he valued his life, that he'd better just wait for tomorrow.

"I-i guess...it can wait..." Tamaki said, turning tears and puppydog eyes on full blast to see if anyone might change their mind. Which they didn't.

They all mumbled sleepily and walked back to their tents, leaving Tama doomed to his emo-corner.

That day and night, eveyone slept a full 17 hours. Being awake for only 2. Except Tamaki, who only slept for maybe..........30 minutes. All because of disappointment for the day missed, excitement for the next one, and everyones' glares burning holes through the tent in all directions.

* * *

**Thank you to Shikon Entity Shinobu for the misunderstanding-twin-cookie-thing idea!! **

**Hello...please don't kill me...I'M SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE!! I have a slight problem with easily getting sidetracked...But I DID update!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! And I need ideas for the hike "tomorrow". Cuz I'm not sure...and I want another character to show up. Nekozawa? Renge? WHO?!?! And how?! Haha...Please review. I really love reading them!! And HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! DON'T CHOKE ON THE TURKEY/HAM/CHIKEN OR WHATEVER YOU EAT!!**

**Later Gaters,**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	5. Author's Note!

**Authors Note:**

**I'm sorry if anyone thought this was a chapter!! *bows* But I just want to let you know that it's going to be a while before I update again. I can't get up the stairs anymore cuz I just broke my big toe in, like, half…so I'm in a wheel chair. And the computer is upstairs. If I bump it, I get surgery!! *gulps scared-ly* To those of you who are wondering how, I fell down the steps. If anyone asks, I saved a baby from a bear. Got it? Good. So please give me some time!! *cough*two months*cough* And again, sorry!!**

**Until I'm repaired,**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	6. Day 4: Hiking

**Disclaimer- Don't own don't own don't own don't own**

**HogoshaOtaku- DON'T REVIEW YOUR OWN STORIES!!!**

**Sori-chan~- Arigatou, Prim-chan!!**

**CullensGrl- Yeah, maybe…thank you!!**

**Creager- I don't like hardcore cause I'm normal!! And yeah, maybe her… And yes, I know I missed a step!! While texting!! Don't rub it in!!**

**i-heart-kaoru- Thanks for the ideas!!**

* * *

The morning of the hiking trip was a groggy one. Even the King of Hyperactive-ness was unusually quiet.

"Morning…" Haruhi mumbled, to only be responded with grunts and pathetic nods. Mori, who was acting like his normal self (A/N: Cuz he's always quiet) got Hunny's usual morning strawberry-cherry-chocolate-vanilla-swirl-sugary-whipcreamed-icinged-icecream-cake and brought it over to the tired little boy, who was rubbing his eyes.

"I-I'm not hungry, Takashi…"

* * *

The American adult Lisa was talking to her uber-hott boyfriend on her way to her job at the the Empire State Building. Suddenly, the power went out, phones lost connection, water exploded from the fire hydrants, and babies started crying in every apartment.

* * *

"…..o.0…...?!?!?!?!"

Everybody was turned around and looking at Hunny with 'WTF' expressions.

"He's tired…" Mori said, like there was no problem. Hunny yawned and laid his head on the (A/N: Yes, it's conveniently placed) picnic table, and went back to sleep.

Kyouya shook his head and returned to writing in his mysterious notebook.

"It's alright, I guess..." Hikaru said tiredly, plopping down next to Kaoru.

"Why _is _everyone so tired?" Kaoru asked while stretching. (A/N: *SQUEAL*) "I mean, we all got like, 50 thousand hours of sleep last night. Except Tono, of course."

Everyone shrugged.

"I guess...it's time to bring **_it _**out..." Tono said, shuddering.

Hikaru and Kaoru paled.

"You mean..."

"...**_that?_**"

He nodded.

Hunny's eyes widened.

"That **_thing_** that shalt not be spoken of by human mouths?"

He nodded again.

Mori grunted.

Kyouya rolled his eyes.

Haruhi looked back and forth between the Host Club.

"What what what???!!!"

"...**_THIS_**!!!!"

**xThis is simply a warning for those who are allergic or just untolerant of uber-extreme awesomeness. You have been warned.x**

Tamaki help up a pound of...Commoner Coffee. *Dun dun dun DUN!!!*

Haruhi sweatdropped, then died. (*bows*)

"I'll get the cups!!"

"I'll get the coffee maker!!"

"I'll get the cream and sugar!!"

"I'll drink it when it's done!!"

The long and hard process of coffee making began.

* * *

Tamaki looked up and whiped his forehead. Of course there wasn't any of that icky sweat there, but it looked good.

"Tono...we did it."

Tamaki's eyes gleamed as the twins and himself poured cups for everyone.

Haruhi drank it plain black. (A/N: Like her soul...)

Hunny dumped 60 tons of sugar in it.

Mori and Kyouya added some creamers.

Tama and the twins put a, *ahem*, 'normal' amount of everything in theirs.

*Glug glug glug...*

Everyone was back to their normal selves.

"LET'S GO HIKING!!!" Tamaki said with usual enthusiasm.

"Do we have to...?" Everyone asked with usual unenthusiasm.

"YES!! LET'S GO!!!" He yelled, before shoving eveyone towards the mile-long hiking trail in the middle of the woods.

* * *

They were about 10 minutes into the hiking trip, and everyone had at least 23 mosquito bites, 10 thorn pricks, 8 clothing tears, and 2 ticks.

"...I'm hungry." Hunny said as his stomach rumbled.

"Yeah Tono, get the food out of your backpack."

Tamaki reached his hand over his back to grab the backpack.

(A/N: You know how in anime when someone loses something, the empty spot kinda blinks and everyone dumbfoundedly stares? Yeah, picture that.)

"Sempai...you lost the food..."

"NEVER FEAR!!! According to the common folk, one can think better on an empty stomach!!" He sparkled. "We must go on!!"

He trudged on forward with more spirit than before.

Everyone followed with less spirit than before.

"Takashi, I'm _really _hungry..."

"..." Mori nodded but kept walking.

Suddenly, there was a rustle of sound to their left. Tamaki jumped into Kyouya's arms, quivering like a little girl.

"MOOOM!!! SOMETHING MOOOVED!!"

"Yes, Tamaki, I realize this." He said, dropping Tamaki on his butt.

Everyone was on alert. They looked side to side, for the sounds seemed to come from everywhere. A big shadow loomed over from behind them, and Haruhi screamed...

The monster ate them.

**

* * *

**

**xTHE ENDx**

**

* * *

**

**Hehe. Just kidding. ^-^

* * *

**

A shadow appeared from behind, and everyone whirled around.

The feared sound of Ouran could be heard eminating from the figure.

A loud, high-pitched, girly, otaku-ish laugh.

"RENGE!!!"

"Ah, yes!! The lovely sound of gorgeous high school boys!! And where is my dear Megane Character?"

Everyone looked around for Kyouya.

Gone.

"He must've went back to camp." Haruhi stated, shrugging. "So what are you doing here, Renge?"

"I'm looking for inspiration for my next--"

"Ouran Host Club Manga." The twins said, deadpanned.

"Its. Not. A. Manga." The twins rolled their eyes. "We don't care."

Renge ignored them. "So what are you guys doing here??"

"COMMONER CAMPING!!" Tamaki jumped up excitedly at the chance to talk.

"Who said I was talking to you, you pathetic excuse for a man?" He emo-cornered. "I bet my dear Kyouya or Haruhi didn't even want to come!!" She yelled, getting angry now.

Tama dejectedly shook his head, not considering the consequences.

"WELL THEN FEEL THE WRATH OF RABID FANGIRL BUNNIES!!!!" She screamed, pointing at him, 15 multi-colored bunnies popping outta nowhere.

(A/N:....Don't ask. For those of you who don't like extreme weirdness, I'm sorry. I'm just bored.)

"ATTACK!!!"

The bunnies attacked, and the Host Club ran.

Away from the trail, of course. Running_ on _the trail would just be too darn logical.

*20 Minutes Later*

"We lost them!!" Haruhi said happily, falling to the ground. I thought we were gunna die!!"

Mori furiously nodded.

"Really...? I thought they were kawaii..." Hunny said sadly, hugging his Usa-chan.

"O-of course they were!!" Tamaki said quickly, Hunny perking up. "We were...racing them!!" He nodded.

"I guess we beat Hika-chan and Kao-chan, too!!" He sang naively, swinging in circles.

The rest of the club looked around.

The twins were gone.

* * *

Hika wrestled out of the bush that he had fallen into. The club was gone, he was lost, and his stomach was cussing him out.

"..." He punched a tree.

"I didn't even want to go on this stupid trip!!" He yelled, then ran off in attempt to find his way back to camp.

* * *

Kaoru slowly pushed himself off the ground. His cheek was scraped, and his foot hurt...stupid rock.

"Hikaru...? Haruhi...? Tono...?" No response. He shakily got from his knees and headed the opposite way he had been coming from, hoping to find someone or something to help him.

* * *

"What are we gunna do...?" Haruhi asked worriedly. She kept looking around as they headed back, trying to find the trail or the people they lost.

"We'll find our way back!!" Tamaki said, but his statement was missing confidence. On their quest to find the twins, they had also lost Hunny and Mori.

_I can't believe I'm stuck here with **him**... _Haruhi thought, depressed. She wanted to find camp, and she wanted to find it fast.

* * *

Hikaru walked into camp with leaves in his hair. He walked over to the nasty little water pump at the top of the lot, stuck his hands under it, and pumped water into them. He splashed is face, trying to get rid of the dirt.

Then he saw smoke coming from the firepit.

He walked over curiously, only to find Kaoru and Kyouya sitting there with sodas in hand.

"What the heck?!" He asked incredulously. "You're _here_?! We thought you were lost!!"

"Of course I wasn't lost. I have more dignity than that." Kyouya said, not even looking up at him.

"I_ was_ lost...I just found camp before you." Kaoru stuck his tongue out.

Hikaru stomped his foot down. Very girlishly. "Whatever!!" He said. "But everyone else is lost, and its getting dark!!"

"They'll come back eventually." Kyouya said coolly, just as Mori appeared with Hunny on his shoulders.

* * *

Tamaki and Haruhi were getting nervous, considering the fact that it was almost purely dark out. Haruhi jogged to catch up with Tamaki, who was totally set on getting back before the stars were out.

Just as Haruhi grabbed Tama's sleeve to tell him to slow down, the humming started.

It started low, but got louder and louder as they went.

So loud that they stopped to listen.

Tsk, tsk. Bad idea.

"What do you think that is?" Tamaki asked nervously.

"It sounds like..."

"BEES!!!"

Just as the wasps descended on them, they ran like bats outta hell.

* * *

"Hunny!! Mori!!" The twins stated together. "Where were you?!"

"Well, I was reeeaaally hungry, so Takashi took me to a nearby bakery!!" Hunny said, holding up a doughnut.

"You knew how to get out...?" They asked.

Mori just nodded and put Hunny down, then sat down next to the fire.

"BEEEES!!! EVERYBODY RUUUUN!!!" Haruhi and Tamaki came crashing into the scene, with little bee stings covering every inch of bear skin.

"Huh?"

"What?"

"...?"

"GET INTO YOUR TENTS!!!"

When the wall of wasps then appeared, the good little Host Club did exactly as they were told.

* * *

**The twins getting lost and Hunny n Mori going to a bakery- i-heart-kaoru**

**Renge in the woods looking for something- Creager**

**WOO!!! Longest chapter so far!! Haha. Hope you liked it!! Oh, I've miraculously healed a bit early. XDDD!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW AS A CELEBRATION/HAPPINESS GIFT!!!!! I need ideas and opinions!!**

**Sincerely,**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	7. Day 5: Shopping

**Disclaimer- *really fast* IdontownHostClub…there I said it…*sob***

**...Hello everyone ^-^ Sorry I took so long!! I was...testing my mad skillz. Turns out I have them. TAKE THAT n00bs!!! Yeah. I bet NUN O' YA could not read for 40 days. Fo shiz.**

**ParadiseMomiji-...YOU COMPARED ME TO A VIDEO GAME!!! GRRR!!! And wow Hii-hime...bad mental images...**

**Strawberry Sunsets- Thank you so much!! And I agree...that -is- a good line...XD**

**ChocolateAngel-San- Arigatou!! That makes me feel all good inside ^-^**

**I-Heart-Kaoru- Thank you!! And yes, that was my idea X3**

**Mattjesse- o.0...wow...I officially love Vic-chan!! And I just don't like the fact that Haruhi takes the time she spends with the Host Club for granted...grrr...**

**ONTO THIS CHAPTER!!!**

* * *

The Host Club woke up miraculously not dead, broken, raped, arrested, or in an asylum. Miraculously. They immediately went to the conveniently placed cooler, cuz they were all reeeaaally hungry. Hunny popped off the lid, and their faces kinda looked like:

.............o.0..............

Because it was empty.

The thought flitting through the majority of their minds was:

_Oh, God. We have to shop with Tamaki._

Except Tamaki-chan's mind, of course. He adored shopping with himself. Especially on Tuesdays, but we've yet to figure out why...

Ahem. Anyway.

Tamaki came whipping around the corner, his eyes sparkley with pre-schooler mentality as usual.

"Look!! BIKES!! We will use them to ride to the Commoner Store of Camping Devices!!"

Everyone sighed and shook their heads, but took the bikes anyway. They were numb to his stupidity by now.

"Which way?" Haruhi asked, looking towards Kyoya. He nodded to the right.

"Like a half-mile that way."

Hunny hopped on a tricycle.

"Let's gooo!" He tied Usa-chan to his handle bars and veered off, causing a dust trail and leaving everyone behind. Mori grunted and went quickly after him. Everyone followed silently.

They rode up hills, down hills. Veered to the right, skidded to the left. Through mountains, deserts...okay, maybe that's exaggerating...

When they got there, they all threw their bikes down. You think I'm joking. But I mean really. Pick up, chuck down and cause a dent in the asphalt. Yeah. Like that.

They stumbled into the air-conditioned store, sweating. Except Tamaki. He doesn't do the sweating thing.

"That's the longest..."

"...Half a mile I've ever seen..." Hikaru and Koaru said, glaring Death at Kyoya. Kyoya shrugged. He was fine. (A/N: freaks...)

They all looked around the cramped little store. It was quaint, with a little door in the back that looked kind of suspicious...so obviously, they thought nothing of it. Psssh. Waaay too logical.

The store clerk was a young man, and he greeted them nicely. He offered to help them, but they declined.

Hunny headed to the candy with Mori at his heels.

Haruhi headed to the water bin.

The twins went to the strange door. (A/N: Not because they're suspiscious. Just cuz they're weird.)

And Tamaki drug Kyoya around, spazzing at everything.

"These commoners are GENIUS!!!" He yelled, holding onto Kyoya's shirt. "Look at this, Mom!! Quickly-Dissolving Toilet Paper!!" He picked it up and looked at it like mad scientists stare at vials.

"Yes...but how quickly...?" Kyoya asked, shuddering at the horrible image.

Tamaki went onto the next item.

"Look!!_ Dehydrated _food packets! Just add water!!"

"They taste like water, too!" Haruhi yelled from wherever she went.

"And a solar-powered flashlight!!"

...Staaaaare...

"And an inflatable dart-board!!"

...Glaaaaare...

"And a-"

"SHUT UP!!" Kyoya roared, stomping off to somewhere else. Tamaki doom-ed and went to sit in his portable emo-corner.

The twins walked around the strange little door, checking out the different things on the wracks next to it. Of course, they thought it was the _perfect_ place for a twincest moment, and ended up falling into the door (A/N: not gunna say how) and in turn, it burst open, revealing the unmentionable, evil, horrid, M-rated, scarring things happening behind it.

"_So Suoh-san, we meet again..._" The cloaked figure said, turning to reveal a cat puppet, normally referred to as Bereznoff.

"N-no...why are you h-here...?!" Tamaki said, hiding behind Mori. Hunny giggled and went to pay for candy. Mori went to follow, leaving Tamaki un-hidden.

"So Nekozawa, what are you doing here?" The twins asked in sync.

"_I buy almost all of my Dark Artifacts here..._" he said, laughing maniacally.

"What are those things doing being sold in a little campground store?" Haruhi asked, unfazed. Her arms were full of sensible, usable, _normal _camping nessecities.

"YEAH, WHY?!?!" Tamaki screeched, jumping up and latching onto a wrack of stuff. "GO AWAY!!!!!"

"Why doesn't Neko-chan stay for a campfire dinner??" Hunny asked, appearing out of nowhere and tugging adorably on Nekozawa's robe. Mori nodded in encouragement.

"_Yes...I shall...I will tell your futures then, as payment._" He said, pulling out tarrot cards. "_But not until later...they're so much more fun...in the dark._"

With a swshy-twirl of his robe-cloak-thing, he poofed away.

"Well, I'm going to go pay." Haruhi stated, walking to the cashier. Tamaki whimpered and walked up with her, holding the back of her shirt the whole way up. Mori and Hunny walked outside and headed back a while, having already paid. Kyoya's bike was gone, so we're all gunna asume he's either back at camp or he rode off a cliff in hopes of ridding himself of these idiots.

The twins walked up to Haruhi and Tamaki.

"Hurry, will you?" Hikaru complained.

"Yeah. We're hungry." Kaoru added.

"I'm hurrying..." Haruhi said, picking up the bags full of stuff and heading for the door.

"DON'T RUSH YOUR LITTLE SISTER!!!" Tama scolded. "BE RESPECTFUL!!!"

The twins rolled their eyes and skipped out side, Tamaki following, and the four of them headed back.

* * *

After that little episode, the Host Club spent a lovely rest of the day relaxing. Until about....5:30.

**Kyoya's POV....Kinda. Not really. Go away.**

_Sigh. No money made today. This sucks. I hate people. Why did we have to spend so much? It wasn't nessecary...they could've lived...maybe._ Kyoya thought to himself, sitting on a log near the campfire, with Haruhi sitting next to him.

He stared at the fire. Everyone else was roasted marshmallows, and he held his mysterious notebook in his hand though his pen remained still. There was nothing to add in today, really.

Suddenly, he felt a head on his shoulder. He looked down, and saw Haruhi had fallen asleep, and had lain her head on his shoulder. Kyoya could feel himself begin to blush, but he mentally threatened himself, and the scared little red blood cells left his cheeks alone. Kyoya Ohtori does not _blush_.

But then of course, Haruhi did the unmentionable.

SHE DROOLED.

ON KYOYA'S SHOULDER.

THE FOOLISNESS.

Kyoya's eyes flared, and he grabbed Haruhi and through her across the yard. Like BAM. Bu not to worry, all the Haruhi-fans reading this. She landed on Tamaki. Iz all gooood.

So Kyoya ran of to 'splode some people with his eye-lasers and glare at innocent bystanders. Tamaki and Haruhi walked back over, but Tama was a bit worse for wear. Poor King...

They all waited in silence (A/N: ...thats a lie...there was a food fight and an alien war somewhere in there...) for Nekozawa to show up. Which he did. And he payed up, like he promised. Much to everyone's dismay.

The predictions/readings screamed randomness while streaking across a football field in the middle of a blizzard wearing only a bunny hat. (1)

Haruhi was gunna become prez of the U.S.A and marry Lady Gaga and have four chimpanzee children.

Mori was gunna become an alien with chicken wings and die by licking a lightbulb. (Hunny didn't like that.)

Hunny was gunna O.D. on candy and become a toothless dentist, sharing his life story of too much candy with children in Africa.

Tamaki was going to become poor and live in a box, trying to sell his really crappy paintings to get money, and live off of commoner coffee.

The twins were gonna seperate and get married to twin belly-dancers in Mexico and eat astronaut icecream forever with their pet chinchillas.

Kyoya was going to become head of his family's business. (Kyoya threw Nekozawa into a mob of rabid fangirls.)

...Yeah. Told you.

So, with Nekozawa gone and everyone's future's doomed, they went to bed with heavy hearts.

* * *

**1- Thanks to ParadiseMomiji for that awesome line ^-^ also for the idea of Nekozawa showing up buying magical stuff.**

**Strawberry Sunsets- Thanks for the Kyoya's POV and drool idea thingie!!**

**HogoshaOtaku here, finally. Sooo...good chapter? I hope sooo...There was really annoying anime menu music playing over and over downstairs.... So yes!! I'm back!! Yayyy!! I can't wait to write some more. It was hard not updating. Rawr. So, as usual, ideas are welcome. Almost nessecary. And I love REVIEWS. They make me update faster, I promise ^-^**

**With Sincerity,**

**HogoshaOtaku**


	8. Day 6: Truth or Dare part 1

**Disclaimer- I don't own Host Club.**

**Sorry for such the long wait, everyone…I doubt anyone is still reading this…I just had so much going on, and so much I was going through. I had no time to write, and no urge. Whatever I wrote would have been crappy regardless…And if any characters are a bit OOC, you should expect it by now anyway. u.u**

**Kuramasredredrose-Thanks for the idea~!**

**ParadiseMomiji- Oh, yes. I used the epical.**

**Creager- I _always _fail at grammar check. It's cuz I'm too lazy to do it.**

**LilDreamer0727- It makes me happy to know my story actually makes people other than me laugh!**

* * *

Our dear, innocent, angelic twins woke up this beautiful morning with a wondorously joyous idea.

I doubt any of you believe that.

To put it more realistically, our evil mastermind demon twins woke up that morning with a perfectly horrid idea. Regardless of how entertaining that horrid idea may or may not be. They roused everyone from their tents with identical Cheshire smiles.

"Takashi, why are we up so early...?" They little blondie asked, rubbing his eyes and dragging Usa-chan behind him. Mori blushed and looked away. (A/N: Yeah Mori, I totally saw that.)

Tamaki, being the freakish morning person that he is, was up and ready and already sparkling. "What is this fantastic idea my hazardous sons have been rambling about?" He asked dramatically, yanking Haruhi into his side.

The twins looked at each other and slunk shoulder to shoulder.

"Truth or Dare."

Kyouya, who had been sitting aside taking notes in his addictive manner in that stupid friggin' notebook, dissmissed the idea. "Whatever you two are planning, it will either lead to costly damage or fatality. Fatality leads to extensive paperwork and lots of expenses. So, I'd rather you didn't."

"B-but Moooom!" Tamaki pleaded, his eyes growing unnaturally large and tearing up. "It's a popular commoner gaaaaame! We must! I'm dad, so I make the rules! We are playing this Truth or Dare!" He dramatically pointed his sparkling finger annoyingly close to Kyoya's dark aura.

Kyouya sighed. "You're paying for it."

Haruhi facepalmed, missed her hand and slammed her face into a conveniently placed rock in the ground. (A/N: looked painful...how'd that get there...? .)

And so, the Host Club commenced a game of Truth or Dare.

* * *

Tamaki settled down (as much as someone like him could settle) and the rest followed in suit on the ground.

"As King, it is my duty to go first! Mori!"

"...yeah?"

"Truth...or...DARE!" His sparkles started flittering around double-time.

"I guess...truth."

Tamaki pondered this question for less than a second. There was one question everyone had wondered, and he know had the ability to ask and Mori had to answer truthfully.

"Mori...why are you so silent?"

"..." He shrugged.

Hikaru, Kaoru snd Haruhi had gathered around Tamaki to hear Mori's answer at this point, and were all very appaled.

"That's it?" Hikaru yelled.

"There has to be a reason! No one is as unnaturally quiet as you without a pressing reason!" Kaoru had jumped behind Mori and was shaking him at a very alarming rate. "WHYYYYY?"

Haruhi just dead-panned and walked back over to her seat.

Mori waited for everyone to calm down. He looked at them, completely serious with those sweet, kind eyes that held so much strength and knowledge and said, "Why would _I _need to talk when you guys talk enough for everyone?"

Kyouya snickered. He had a point, after all. There just wasn't enough room in one manga to add Mori's dialogue to everyone elses.

Tamaki was dejected to the emo-corner, leaving Mori to picked the next victim. Hunny latched onto his side. "Pick me, pick me~!" Mori obliged politey.

"Mitsukuni...truth or dare." (A/N: that wouldn't sound right in Mori's deep voice...)

"Hmm...I pick...truth!" He looked up expectantly.

Mori looked to Haruhi.

"Don't look at me for a question, I don't know!"she exclaimed, holding her hands up.

Mori sighed. "Mitsukuni...do you prefer commoner cake...or expensive cake?"

Hunny's face turned a pale shade of green. "I prefer cexpensive cake..." he said, looking a little woozy. "CTamaki made commoner cake once. But, I'm not really sure if you could call it cake...even Usa-chan wouldn't eat it..." Mori sat him down quickly. The poor boy looked like he was about to faint. Mori shot a glare at Tamaki in his emo-corner. Though Tama couldn't see it, for his back was turned, Tamaki shuddered.

"Hunny, it's your turn." Hika poked him repeatedly, as if this might persuade him to act faster. "Umm...Haru-chan! truth or dare~!" His flowers, still a pale green, began to float around his head again.

Haruhi sighed dejectedly. "Truth, I guess..."

Hunny jumped on the opportunity almost immediately, sparing no ones feelings. "Have you ever had a daydream about Tama-chan?"

Haruhi's face BURSTED (A/n: Yes my friends, bursted. not quickly turned, not slowly faded into, bursted.) into a neon red and it looked like her head was about to explode.

"NO! I haven't! Wh-why would you...wh-wh...uh...y-y...GRAWR!" She dived into her tent to hide.

The twins roflmao-ed and Hunny giggled. Kyouya began to furiously scribble in the notedbook again, causing smoke to rise from the pages. Tamaki made his way back over, a glassy look in his eyes. "Haruhi daydreams about me, too...~? Woooo!" He started jumping up and down and everyone stared at him like this: o.0 wtf...?

Haruhi glaerd out of her tent. "Tamaki, truth or dare?"

Tamaki gleamed with pride. "Dare, of course!"

Haruhi snickered, giving a wry half-smile. "Then I dare you to not do anything involving me for the rest of today. No thinking about me, no talking about me, and absolutely no talking to me!" She zipped her tent back up.

Tamaki stared, uncomprehending. Then, in an extremely delayed fashion, he fell to his knees weeping.

"There, there Tono," said Kaoru.

"We'll keep you company!" Hikaru finished, giving his brother a _very_ suspicious smile.

Tamaki sat down in his designated square of grass, but said nothing more.

Kaoru looked apprehensive. "I guess...I'll take over?" Hikaru shrugged. Kaoru then proceeded in asking Hikaru to pick his poison. Hikaru picked dare. Silly, silly boy...

Kaou looked around. "Ah-ha!" He sauntered over to the conveniently placed hammock and picked something up off the ground. "Eat this." He opened his hand. In it, was a...

CENTIPEDE!

Hikaru gagged. And then rolled all over the ground. Then stomped his feet. Then cried. Then threw stuff at his brother. Then stomped around the campground trying to get people to sign a petition. Then started a mob. Then signaled alien invaders over to abduct him. And, as his last resort, started pleading.

"Kaoru, I thought you loved me! Please don't make me eat it! Please!" He glomped his brother around the middle and held on for dear life. "Please. Kao-chan...?"

Kaoru contemplated it, and them seemed to come up with a satisfactory solution. "You have two options, Hikaru. You can either eat this centipede, or kiss Kyouya." Kaoru looked smugly down upon his brother.

Hikaru's face drained of colour. To eat a centipede is revolting. Vomit-inducing. Enought to make him want to be taken away by anal-probing alien. But to kiss Kyouya? Thats...SUDDEN DEATH.

He could feel the firey, yet strangley icey glare coming from Kyouya. Hikaru may be an idiot, but he ain't stupid.

He ate that stupid centipede.

He also informed everyone to no longer join him in the game. He was now only there to collaborate with others.

Hikaru asked Mori truth or dare. Mori picked dare.

"I dare you toooooo..." Kaoru whispered something in his ear. Hikaru laughed hysterically.

"Mori, i dare you to run around the campground once, completely naked, yelling "I'm a magical pixie pony!""

Even Hunny had to concentrate on stifling his laughter.

Mori, being a man of his word, began to strip of his clothing. (A/N: daaayumm, those are some nice abs. *-*)

I mean, come on. He'd still have his dignity when it was over. Mori has enough dignity to sprinkle it around.

Mori then did as he was told. Louder than he has _ever _been before, he ran nude around the campground screaming "I'm a magical pixie pony." Unexpectedly, the police were never called. The rest of the Host Club could have sworn they'd seen camera flashes, though...oh well.

When he returned, he put his clothes back on and sat down next to Hunny. Mori acted as though nothing happened, even though the twins were laughing hysterically and Kyouya was trying to buy some of his photos.

He turned and asked Tamaki truth or dare.

"I pick truth..." he said, fearing the atrocity of the dares.

"No no Tono, we can't have that!" exclaimed Kaoru, slinging his arm across Tama's shoulders.

Hikaru slipped his arm in, too. "You should pick dares. Dares are for real men. And Haruhi likes real men." The twins smiled at each other, a new form of torture already developing in their minds.

"I-!" Tamaki stopped himself. He rremember Haruhi's dare, and he was going to do it, to atleast make her happy.

"Whats wrong, Tono?" Asked Kaoru.

"Don't you _like _Haru-chan?" Tamaki's face was truning blue from effort.

_Don't think about her...don't think about her...crap, I'm thinking about not thinking about her so therefore I'm thinking about her! But if i stop telling myself to not think about her, I'll think about her! Even though I'm doing it right now! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-_

"-AAAH!"

POOF.

Tamaki was officially out of commision. They laid him by the tents so he wouldn't be troublesome, and then continued the game.

Mori looked to Hunny instead.

"I pick dare!" he said, his adorable brown eyes open wide. "'Cause I'm a real man~!"

Mori looked at him, and said the forbidden. "...You can't eat cake the rest of the day."

"I dun wanna be a man, I dun wanna be a man!" He started pounding on Mori's side. "Takashiii!"

Morei attempted to pat his back. "It's for your own good, Mitsukuni." And though Hunny pleaded and begged, Mori would not budge or say anymore on the matter. There would be no cake for Hunny that night.

All the other three could do was stare. Really. Even Kyouya.

Kyouys shut his book and stood up. "If you'll allow me, I'd like to offer some entertainment. I would like to ask Kaoru truth or dare."

It took a minute for Kaoru to respond. He kinda just shook his head a few times and stared at Kyouya like he was a fish until Hikaru bumped him in the ribs.

"Ohh, uh, dare!"

Kyouya smirked, and pulled Kaoru off to the side. As they were scheming, a giant black aura began to eminate from around them. Hunny looked around for Nekozawa, but he was nowhere to be seen. So the aura was definitely coming from Kyouya and Kaoru.

When they came back, they both looked too happy. But the others were too scared to ask. Hikaru cleared his throat and told Kaoru to pick someone, if he wasn't going to do his dare.

"Believe me Hikaru, I'll be doing my dare. But not now. And I need your help." Kaoru pulled Hikaru off to the side as well, and filled him in.

They both looked strangely pleased as they sat down again. And Kyouya was still smiling. (*shudder*)

Koaru looked to Kyouya again. "Truth or dare?" He asked. Kyouya sighed irritatedly and answered dare.

Kaoru was afraid to ask what he was wanted to ask. But he did it anyway.

"I dare you...to show us what's in your notebook."

.:~: What was shown here is not going to be shared with the general public. The things that filled Kyouya's notbook were so private and, well...*ahem*. Yeah. So you don't get to know. :~:.

Kyouya snatched his notebook back after a minute, and stomped off to his tent. It was only the middle of the day, but he claimed he needed a nap. They left him alone.

Hunny and Mori ran off to grab something to eat. Healthy food, Mori had emphasized, much to Hunny's dismay. But Hika and Kao walked off toperfect the dare they had to perform that night...

* * *

**Okay, this one's gunna be a two part chapter. Welcome to part one! Haha. I felt like it was getting a little long, sooo...**

****Oh. By the way. If I get enough reviews, I'll share what was in Kyouya;s notebook with you in the next chapter~ XD who cares if its private? We're fangirls! It's our business to know things we shouldn't!**

**Anyway...I'm hoping my next update will be _much _quicker. So once again, I apologize for the wait! I hope this chapter was up to par! *bows***

**Until Later (but hopefully not too much later),**

**HogoshaOtaku**


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